Wednesday, May 23, 2018


     “The only defense in David’s favor is that he’s very young and immature. Otherwise, his behavior is inexcusable.” That is a statement posted in the comments section of one of my blog posts.i Never before had I been damned by an alleged “defense” of me. If a defense of me was that bad, then what was I to make of the attacks on me?

     Such is just another episode in the life of a blogger such as me. It reminds me of the most important lesson that any blogger can learn: Blogging isn’t for cowards.

      I liken the blogosphere to the trenches that Allied soldiers fought in during World War I. All too often, when I log on to a blog that I write for, I wish that I had an army helmet and a flak jacket to wear. Sure, plenty of blogs are quite benign when it comes to the way that readers treat bloggers. Those tend not to be the blogs that I am associated with. Instead, I usually end up in the section of the blogosphere that resembles the Korean Demilitarized Zone.  All that is missing is Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger wearing a dress.

     I couldn’t possibly keep all of this fun to myself. So, I decided to write this little book as a report from the trenches of the blogosphere. I just hope that I don’t get trench foot while doing so. I don’t know how I would ever explain it to Doctor Scholl.

     Anyway, what you are reading now is part blogging-memoir, part how-to and part satire. Yes, some of the contents are serious, but I prefer to keep what I say in a comical vein. You might say that Dilbert creator Scott Adams has had a bad influence on me.  Sometimes, I think that Dogbert lives inside my head.

     Actually, the real culprit responsible for my writing style is American puppeteer Paul Fusco, creator of the 1980s TV show Alf. I don’t just mimic that show’s title character. I am related to that show’s title character. To be precise, I am a distant, distant, more-distant-the-better cousin of Alf, originating from the same world that he originated from. Hence, I look at life on planet Earth the same way that he does.

     By the way, I don’t actually communicate with my Melmacian cousin. He stopped talking to me after I ate the last cat during a family reunion.

     If you love cats, then don’t worry. No cats were eaten during the writing of this book. If you don’t understand the “cat eating” jokes, then watch the pilot episode of Alf on YouTube.

     Now, on with the show … err … writing.

This book is dedicated to Dogbert.


Because it is best to be on his good side when he takes over the world.

By the way, this book is online for free reading because the author can't afford to have it published.

Click here to continue reading.

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Introduction       “The only defense in David’s favor is that he’s very young and immature. Otherwise, his behavior is inexcusable.” ...